Thank You Letter

There are officially two weeks left of the school year.  I did receive word that I’ll be doing summer school (don’t know if I’ve mentioned that yet) but my time at this school is officially coming to a close.  Seniors started their finals yesterday and underclass finals start next Thursday.  And, in the meantime, I’ve given up fighting with students to listen.  Some classes are sitting quietly and listening to the review I’m giving them.  Others are ignoring me.  And in those cases I’m just giving them problems to work on and ignoring them mostly.  It works for everybody!  They aren’t being malicious, just ready to finish.  Me too!

Now for two letters.  The first is a petition signed by my entire 3rd period class.  It reads thusly:

“Dear Mr. ________!!  This petition is in regards to that disturbing test we took two classes ago, in which the results seemed to have ripped out the hearts of most students in this classroom!!!  Because we haven’t been provided with the option of extra credit this quarter, we are asking you to give us the opportunity of doing TEST CORRECTIONS!!!!  If you compromise with us we will respond by crowning you the ultimate coolest, most awesome teacher in the universe!!  It’s a real good offer _____ (they use my first name) : ) pwetttty plz!!!!! : )”

It was then signed by the entire class.

My response is that, of course, I’m already the ultimate coolest, most awesome teacher, so no test corrections.

Then there’s a letter from a student entitled “What I would write in your yearbook”

“Thank you for putting up with us, Mr. _____.  Through all the adoption papers, legal documents, blogs, petitions and awkward jokes after school – well, I’m surprised you haven’t involved the authorities.  I hope you enjoy the Grand Finale.  If you ever forget about us, I will be severely disappointed.  You were the first teacher we ever showed our extreme weirdness to.  I’m glad you never ran away screaming – especially after the “take it like a man” comment I made…and the mother’s day gift…and the family album.  [This school] is the most moronic school in the universe for letting you go.  I feel so sorry for those stupid sophomores.  We will miss you so much!  Please don’t be surprised when we harass you on facebook and don’t forget to feed the family vampire.  Also search “rabbid [sic] grannies” on youtube.  It’s amazing.  PS I’m mad at you for saying unicorns aren’t real.”

I told them unicorns weren’t real.  To which they replied, “of course they are.  Voldemort killed one to stay alive.”

Of course.

Teacher Twitter

Sitting here with one student.

Wow, that was so exciting.  I hope you all appreciate my short status message.  I mention this after Monday night’s Daily Show segment about Senators and Congressmen using Twitter during Obama’s speech the other night.  Instead of paying attention to the address, they were busy putting up stupid messages on Twitter.

I have to confess that, although I’m not even close to a technophobe, I am very much against having new technology just because it’s new.  Technology for technologies sake….which happens to the be the motto of my school.  It’s new!  Let’s buy it and tell everyone we have it!  And then the teachers don’t use whatever-it-is because it doesn’t have practical use in a classroom.  More on this later.

Ok, not a technophobe.  But I resisted a cell phone in 2001 because, really, who was I calling?  But I embraced flat screen TVs.  And cable internet connections.  But not phones with QWERTY keyboards.  Or cameras really.  I have a digital camera to take pictures.  Myspace?  No.  Facebook?  Yes, but I’m not on it 24-7.  And I don’t update my status ever.  iTouch?  I can’t think of any recent time where I wished I had music and internet access at the same time and didn’t actually have it.

The point being, why do we need to write down little bits of thought for the world to see?  And who subscribes to these things?  I wouldn’t even care to subscribe to my girlfriend’s twitter (if she had one).  But, old people in Congress have decided that the YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE TWITTER so we will use it because it’s cool and then they’ll vote for me because I use Twitter and they use Twitter and we relate so vote for me because we think the same and I represent you and vote for me please don’t forget to vote.

But these Congressmen that don’t pay attention to what they’re supposed to…they have assistants to tell them what it was all about.  They have staff that writes speeches for them and basically does all the dirty work.  My students, on the other hand, do not have these things.  But they are all on their phones all day long.  They pay attention to very little.  It’s amazing, really.  It’s not even an attention span issue.  At any moment, probably half my students are using their cell phones.  It’s not allowed. So I’ll ask the one or two that I catch to put it away.  If I see it again, I take it.  Fair enough, so I have the time to warn a couple kids about using their phones.  Maybe take one.  But if I decided to take up that fight, I’d never get to teaching.  They don’t even care about losing their phones.  Their parents come after school to pick it up and give it right back to them.  No repercussions.  So they don’t pay attention.  And they don’t listen to me.  And they do poorly on quizzes and tests and claim that I “never went over this” (italics indicate whiny voices) even though I gave an example problem RIGHT BEFORE THE STUPID TEST THAT WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT PROBLEM.  So, yeah, they don’t pay attention.  And they are vindicated because they aren’t the only ones.  Hey, if a Senator doesn’t listen to the President, why should I listen to you?

My other favorite excuse, and this is true, is this: “But I was texting another teacher!” or “But I was texting the assistant principal, he told me to!”  I swear, my only response to this is WTF.  I don’t care.  I don’t care who told you to text them, if it’s in my class it’s not allowed.  But how am I supposed to reinforce this idea if they are texting other teachers or part of the administration???  Too ridiculous.

Lastly, having to do with technology for technologies sake.  Apparently Apple is doing a promotion where certain schools will be picked to receive iTouches for every student.  Our assistant principal thinks this is a great idea.  Why?  Because it’s another piece of electronics that he can tell everybody we have.  What in the world would every student need an iTouch for, besides to have a principal approved reason not to pay attention to the teacher.  But, of course, it’s our fault if the kid fails a test.  Because we’re not doing our job.  Our ever-increasingly impossible job.

The “Perils of Facebook”

I’ve been reading quite a bit about Jon Favreau and his party picture that was on Facebook for a good two hours.  This hits home for me on two fronts.  The first is about my personal facebook page and what I currently have/am allowed to have on there.  This is something I did not even consider when I started teacher.  Now, I’m certainly not the type of person to put up a ton of personal information or pictures online.  But, after a couple weeks, the first student sent me a friend request.  IGNORE.  Then again, and again, and again, etc.  Ok, at this point I took down everything possibly incriminating (not too much there) and made my profile friends-only.  My decision was to only accept friend requests from graduated students.  I’ve found they’re much less interested in having me as a Facebook friend once they graduate.  It’s just not taboo or special anymore.

I absolutely do not agree that employers should be allowed to make job decisions based on an employee’s/applicant’s personal online space — unless there is something illegal going on.  In that case, it goes into the “dumb criminal” bin.  Don’t rob a bank and leave an address, and don’t post pictures of you taking massive bong hits.  But there was a case in which a teacher got fired, she alleged, because she worked on the side as a party boat girl (basically she wears a bikini and comes with the boat you and your buddies rent).  Would it be wrong for me to work as a bartender on weekends?  No.  What if I worked as a bartender at a strip club?  Does that distinction matter?  I bet that would be a problem with the school district if I had that job and students found out.

This all revolves around the legal decision that teachers are held to a higher moral standard than others because they should be setting an example for their students.  This blog wrote a post about this higher standard and how a teacher in New Orleans was fired for having abstract – but not overtly sexual – artwork on a personal website.   He also asks the question about profanity on his blog.  Allowed or over the line?  If you didn’t know this, it’s true.  Teachers are held to higher moral standards.  This higher standard usually comes up in regards to athletes who do drugs or commit some crime.  “But what about the children?!”  The millionaire athlete can apologize, or even blow off the criticizm, and then continue to make money.  I get fired and then have to explain to the next potential employer why I was fired.  It’s probably not a school system either.

Going back to the Facebook topic (I’ll try not to wander anymore), the other problem I have is relaying these dangers to students.  These kids are posting up increasingly shocking material on the web.  As Jon Favreau knows now, even having something up for two hours is dangerous.  What about the “sexting” cases where underage students are sending naked pictures of themselves over their phones.  Guess who gets these pics…that’s right!  EVERYBODY.  I’m wondering where this leads us as a culture.  Does it continue to get enough students in trouble that they learn the lesson?  Or does it become so mainstream that these transgressions because decriminalized.  Enough pictures of high-schoolers drinking and doing drugs that the adults and employers just shrug and roll their eyes.  Enough naked pictures of students floating around that nobody cares.  Enough of our lives documented on-line for the world to see that it just isn’t interesting anymore.

Meanwhile, if you are out drinking with me, please remember not to post those pictures on Facebook.  Unlike you, I have a higher moral calling to answer to.  Isn’t that why we teach?  Remember the children!