08-09 Postscript

There’s something about not being near students every day that saps my creative energy for this endeavor.  Fear not, because summer school starts in two weeks and certainly there’s something to be said about teaching students you never really get to meet.

As of right now, I’ve had two and a half days off from school.  Since school’s ended, I’ve managed to totally redo my bedroom, go to the gym a couple times, sit my the pool for a couple hours, get my car worked on for the third (and hopefully last) time in a month, and spent an afternoon at a laundromat because my dryer is broken.  And I’ve read a good 300 pages of The Three Musketeers.  For those who think that teachers lead a charmed life during the summer, it isn’t all that exciting.  I have, however, remembered very quickly how to sleep past 6 am.

The end of the year passed rather uneventfully.  I did have three students fail for the year (all time high) but they definitely deserved it.  One of those students came to me on the last day and started begging, accusing, negotiating for a D.  It was actually quite amusing for a little while.  Every time I shot down one attempt she came back at me with a different tactic.  First, she didn’t deserve an F.  Then I had to accept an assignment that was 3 months late.  Then she made a mistake on the final and bubbled in the wrong test version.  Then I was ruining her summer and her life.  Finally she was going to get a letter from the assistant principal and her counselor that said she should pass.  At that point I told her to leave my room.  Really it was “Get Out.”  Repeatedly…because she wouldn’t.  After she left, I reflected on how she definitely deserved an F and how, now, I didn’t regret giving her one.  I guess her plan backfired.

I could go on about grades, and in all probability I will at some point, but for now I leave with this story.  It’s about an assault case between two homeless men.  The reason behind the assault?  An argument about quantum physics.  I’m pretty sure none of Einstein’s though experiments involved hitting somebody in the face with a skateboard.

edit: Since there are many people that cross this blog, and summer will be slow in terms of inspiring topics, please leave a comment with any story, topic, or post you might be interested in hearing about.  I’d love to make this blog a bit more interactive.

Homework Grades and Teachers-as-Entertainers

A few things on my mind today after reading the student newspaper:

Our school newspaper is one of the most unprofessional and terrible ones I’ve read.  Every article serves to voice the authors’ opinion, even factual articles, and there are numerous grammatical mistakes in ever edition.  On top of that, the “reporters” make up quotes, attribute them to wrong people or tell you want they want you to say.  And, I save this for last, the teacher is just a horrendous [insert bad word].  If she doesn’t like you, and she doesn’t like me for whatever reason, she will openly talk badly about you to her students.  Now that’s a professional!

Anyway, there was an article about the rules on cell phone use in school.  The student is trying to make the case that cell phone use should be allowed in school (even though the article is about cell phone laws) and here is one pertinent quote (emphasis mine): “While the long, drawn-out days go by, students have to find some source of entertainment to keep them awake in classes.”  They have to find sources of entertainment?  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize my job was to entertain teenagers.  I’m pretty sure I get paid to teach them.  What did all us poor students do prior to 2002?  Sure, we doodled, we daydreamed, we tried to sleep, but mostly we took notes and did the work we were asked to do.  Why?  Because that’s what school is there for.
I completely agree that teachers should find creative and interesting ways to convey their subject to the students.  But sometimes you just have to get through some material.  Or sometimes you have to learn the mirror equation and practice it.  School, like work and life, can’t always been fun.  I’m also of the mind that the reason these kids have such short attention spans is because they’ve been fed snipets of information their whole lives and have never needed to concentrate for more than five minutes at a time.  That needs to change!

Second topic:

There is a new trend in education (I don’t know if it’s in the area or the whole country) that says teachers should not grade anything that isn’t done in the classroom.  No graded homework.  Also, no zeroes if a kid doesn’t hand in an assignment because that doesn’t reflect what he/she knows.  So no effort grades.  What a bunch of crap!  I’m sorry, but there’s really no good way to get a good grade in most classes if you don’t do your homework.  I know some kids pull it off.  But ALL of my kids who get C’s and below skip the homework.  Or they copy the homework from a friend so they get the credit.  I’m happy to give those kids small HW grades, because they invariably BOMB the tests and quizzes.  Now they want to take away those HW grades.  Fine.  So all those C and D students will be F students.  What world do we live in that HW is too much work.  I’ve tried ungraded homework…all of last year in fact.  Maybe 3 students in each class did their homework.  The rest did not.  Then they wonder why they fail tests.  What a disaster.  This is the reason that American students don’t compare to other countries.  We are actively trying to remove their work ethic.

Let’s end on a good note:

I was showing my honors students how to make an image with a curved mirror, in the process creating a reflection of the outside on a piece of paper.  “Mr. _______, tell us again why this class is called ‘physics’ and not ‘magic’?”

Music: “New Slang” by The Shins on Oh, Inverted World

Bargaining Tool

I’m not sure how valid this is as an educational tool, but sometimes I have to bribe students to do their work.  I mean, their parents obviously refuse to give any incentive to do work, so I feel like I have to.  Example?  It can vary anywhere from promising to pass a student (regardless of percentage) as long as they do every….single….piece….of….work for the last few weeks of the quarter (and passing the quiz and the test) to offering to buy lunch for my student mentee if he brings up his English and Spanish grades.  You wouldn’t believe what a kid will do for Chipotle.  I asked him if he wanted to go to college and he said yes.  So I said that D’s and F’s won’t get him there.  Ok I know.  And I’ll buy you Chipotle if you manage it.  I’ll go talk to my teachers today!

Other bargains I’ve made…

• Giving a student a 1% bump one quarter for a penalty of 2% the next quarter (bad idea on the student’s part but I explained all that and he didn’t care).
• Doing manual labor for points.  (Usually it’s like 1 or 2 points out of hundreds at the end of the year.)  Want that extra point?  Put my books back in the storage room please.
• Guessing song lyrics for a point on a quiz.  Without using their iPhones.

So, people who read this blog, has anybody ever bargained with a teacher for a grade?  What’d you do?  What’d you receive?  Do you think it’s wrong?

Shout out to two of my friends: http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com/ and http://princessraininthepants.blogspot.com/